Scalia:

• your mama’s so stupid, she raids elemental
• your mama’s so fat, her 225 riding skill cost 2,000g
• your mama’s so fat, the Amani War Bear rides her
• your mama’s so fat her gnome mage has clipping issues
• your mama’s so fat Magtheridon looked at her and said “Not Again…NOT AGAIN”
• your mama’s so fat, she has Plainsrunning as a racial skill
• your mama’s so fat, she loses two bag slots for her ass
• Your mama’s so fat, her racial skill is immunity to knockback effects
• your mama’s so fat, people target her instead of the Ice Lord in AV
• your mama’s so fat, she could solo Gruul up to 25 grows
• your mama’s so fat that when a DK uses Death Grip on her he gets pulled across the room
• your mama’s so fat that the first time she ported to Dal the city crashed back to earth
• your mama’s so easy, she’s exalted with Booty Bay and Bloodsail Buccaneers
• your mama’s so fat it took two Molten Giants to tank her
• Your mama’s so fat, she hacks so she can carry a whole bag full of Mage Table food

Kingfox:

• Your mama’s so fat, Garr flew when she blew up.
• Your mama’s so nasty, Festergut thinks she smells.
• Your mama’s so fat, she hits the LFG button and arrives at the instance alone.
• Your mama’s so fat, her deathknight can only wear cloth.
• Your mama’s so fat, she used the sunwell as a footbath. And now it needs to be purified again.
• Your mama’s so nasty, Nat Pagle gets excited when she walks into town.
• Your mama’s so skanky, she was the original cavern of time.
• Your mama’s so nasty, she gets AV AFKers to leave the tunnel.

Hoppychris:

• your mom’s so fat she got an achievement for managing to stand up for a bio break
• Your mama’s so fat, her right arm ends up in a different instance than her left arm.
• your mom’s so fat, she gets a backpack, 2 pouches, and 5 folds to carry stuff in
• your mom’s so easy she earns reputation points just for being somewhere
• your mom eats so much she has 2 mages following her around all the time
• yo mama’s so fat she’s soloing Ahn’Qiraj hoping that a grimoire of atkins drops

Snaarg:

• Your mama’s so fat, she gets her own zone in cataclysm
• Your mama’s so fat, she looks to abominations for thinspiration
• Your mama’s so ugly, she uses her face as a special attack
• Your mama’s so fat, king mosh runs from her footsteps
• Your mama’s so easy, Garrosh wanted her as a faction in the Horde
• Your mama’s so fat, the Princess in Maradon was her skinny college roommate
• Your mama’s so fat, she thinks dual-wielding chicken legs is a good DPS combo
• Yo mama’s so fat, she has weight watcher’s as an offspec
• Yo mama’s so fat, she gears for grease

ETA: Whoops, looks like someone’s already doing this. I salute you, wowyomomma.

Since kids crying seems to get the most love, why not share more of that?

I know this isn’t World of Warcraft, but it’s just too good not to comment on. A GM from the new Age of Conan game decided to put on his robe and wizard hat with a player.

[]: My panties wont come off :[
[|GM|]: lol its odd looking at a guy character… lol
[|GM|]: in rl?
To []: Huh?
To []: No, in game =[
[|GM|]: your panties wont come off in real life
[|GM|]: oh…
[|GM|]: I’ll just have to tear them off and have my way lol
To []: YES!!!
To []: Whip out your massive sword too.

Read the whole transcript (and see the screenshots) over at mmorpg.com, read how the GM was fired over the incident, and see a comic about it.

Analogkid, a rogue in Area 52‘s Vicarious, now has a complete set of legendary weapons. That’s right, both warglaives and Thori’dal. He’s more orange than that guy on Scrubs. Sure, there were two hunters who didn’t have it in the raid, but they were new to the guild. This rogue had been raiding with them since Karazhan, always shows up, and even uses consumables on trash! Clearly, he deserved it more!

Hunters don’t necessarily agree with the guildmaster’s decision. Gkicks ensue, drama spills onto the forums and other forums and other websites. Sit back and /popcorn away.

• Initial drama on realm forums.
• Guildmaster defending his decision.
• Second drama thread on realm forums.
• WoW Insider post on the drama, and ensuing drama in their comments.
• Drama in the guild’s forums.
• Most amusing are the similar subject lines in the class forums:
  • Legendary Bow goes to a rogue =/
  • Legendary Bow goes to a rogue!

Great outburst over the distribution of a tailoring pattern from a PUG on Hellscream. Hear someone lose their shit on Ventrilo. Twenty minutes of whining, bitching, insults, and mockery.

edrama–Sunwell-on-Hellscream – Hosted by Putfile.com

Ah, drama. Sorry for our long absence from posting, but we’ve been busy doing other things that are less dramatic than this site requires. However, Uldum, that most wayward of backwater realms, has really stirred up the Hornet’s nest. Now it’s long been true that self-styled “High-End” raiding guilds are competitive with one another; some directly, some indirectly. So what happens when the furthest-progressed raiding guild on Uldum-Alliance, Poor Play, manages to bring the Iron Fist of Justice to Illidan? Well, the other progressed guilds on Uldum, especially the Horde guilds, start sniping at each other. It begins, as it always does, with an innocent recruitment post from Gentlemen’s Club, the most progressed Horde guild on the server:

LF healing Priest/Resto Shaman

Sounds innocent, no? Well, it’s not long before the trolls start in:

Lolwutlol:

“Oh crap! Time for any guild not as far progressed as GC to hold onto there members! Here comes the Nova-like poaching of the ”gearing up” guilds. Somethings never change. “

And then we get the tired, weak defenses:

Ztorm:

Meh, it’s not like we’re posting recruitment threads on the forums of other guilds lol. With recruitment as hard as it is, we’re just trying to get the word out to those skilled players who may have slid through the cracks =).

Some arbitrary, player-specific sniping by low-level alts:

Dek:

Q u o t e: Things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………

——————————————————————————–

Here’s Sirloine for you.

Last 30 Days: 37% of raids
Last 60 Days: 37% of raids
Last 90 Days: 41% of raids
Lifetime (02/12/07 – 10/07/07): 45% of raids

Quite a stelar raiding track record….maybe they should take you off our hands.

And then we had back to some quality complaining about poaching by anonymous cowards:

Yurtray:

42. Re: LF healing Priest/Resto Shaman | 10/23/2007 04:51:42 AM PDT

Why isnt this thread just in SB’s recruitment thread,since we all know they have the only other attuned priests on the server…what cracks skilled players fell through ,no one outside of GC knows…..

Things devolve much further below the break.

Continue reading…

Blizzcon is over, and what an event it was. Highlights include the guy (who managed to ask an annoying question at just about every panel) being booed away from the microphone for suggesting that the respec fee be increased. Retadin tears flowed like water through almost every panel, including panels that had little to do with class balance. Hearing a crowd of rabid WoWers chant “QQ” over and over as if they were at a metal concert was truly epic.

Expect drama over the Death Knight announcement, over some of the hilarious comments made by Blizzard employees over the course of the weekend (“this session isn’t for your welfare epics, this is for those who EARN their epics.”), and over throwaway comments taken and overanalyzed to their worst possible conclusion. WoW, after all, is serious business.

My photographs from the event can be found here, on Flickr. This one is my favorite, as it sums up the source for some of the most common guildie on guildie drama:

Eddie Bax and I are currently in lovely Anaheim, California for Blizzcon. We’ll throw some name badges on or something. Tell us your best drama and we’ll buy you a drink. Buy us a drink, and we’ll pretend to laugh at your stories.

UPDATE: Yes, they included hand sanitizer with the schwag. Make of that what you will.

Thanks to Todd Conflict for this one:

He writes:

“Some people don’t like that their significant other plays too much WoW, some people travel halfway around the world to pick up an underage guy half their age that they met on WoW.

Amazing.”

The story on Kotaku goes like this:

A 31-year-old Australian university student is being held in lieu of $2.35 million bail in North Carolina after allegedly flying there to pick up her 17-year-old World of Warcraft boyfriend and fly him back to Adelaide with her, Pitt County Sheriff’s officials said.

Tamara Broome, who met the teen a year ago in the game, told her roommate that her travel to the U.S. last week had been paid for by the teen’s parents so “they could sort it all out.” Broome’s parents say the whole thing was a set up.

Broome was arrested after stepping off an Amtrak train in South Carolina last Saturday. She faces more than two years in jail if found guilty.

To think, one more year and this would have just been a happy story.

See also here for mainstream news coverage.

Inevitably, the comments bring some LuLz:

“on a side note where are all these lonely 30 something women that keep trying to screw around with underage guys? Don’t they know you can just go to a bar or frat house and at the very least be some guys last resort.”

“I like the whole paying her flight to get her arrested. That’s a bit like buying a car for your kid’s stalker and then getting pissed that they *might* end up in the trunk.”

“Ah, the perils of nerd love.”

” At least it really was a chick.”

“curse you parents! that was his first and only chance in hooking up with a woman, now he’s doomed to do unimaginable things to the night elf dancing animation >.> again.”

” But were they Alliance or Horde?”